"I don't know why...

I guess it's been a while. A lot has gone on in the past two months.
Here's the short-end version of what has happened:

I graduated from Grand Valley a few weeks ago, turned 23, went to Chicago for a psych research conference, recently got a promotion/raise at work and next week I leave for NYC. I've never been to the city before, so I'm pretty geeked about it. Now that I'm finished with school (it's very weird to be able to say that, by the way) my plan is to work full-time hours at the video store and apply to graduate school programs in the fall. I'm looking forward to summer. 

Overall, things are going pretty well. I've been ridiculously sick for the past three days, but it's finally starting to turn around.

I don't update this very often, but hopefully I'll be running into some of you now that summer is about here and people are coming back to Michigan. Hope everyone is well.

Also, Saturday, June 14th I am having a graduation party at my  parent's house. I'll send out the details when the time gets closer, but in the meantime, mark your calendars!

 Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse, a lack of care or pretending to care about things.

On another note, I'm so unbelievably ready for a vacation next month. I'm ready for New York. I can't take anymore of Muskegon for the time being. Lately, everything is getting under my skin.

RADIOHEAD and NINE INCH NAILS are set to headline Lollapalooza this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: )

 

I'm so tired of feeling sad. I haven't felt this way in a long time.

Today my mom turns 50. I teased her that she was half way to 100. She didn't like that very much. 

Before, when I was much younger, I could never understand why people would obsess so much about their age and getting older. It's just a number, I always thought. To me age seemed more of a function of how you feel, not how old that you are. But maybe it's not just numbers that people fear, but the whole process that comes along with it, i.e. graying hair, hair loss, wrinkly skin, etc.

It's sort of funny that Carly and I were just having a conversation about this the other night, wondering how all of us will look when we get older compared to now...it kinda made me realize that I should enjoy my youth more, my skin, the fact that I actually have hair and that I'm not all wrinkly (yet). People spend so much time disliking parts of themselves. At least, I know that I'm guilty of this. There are a lot of times when I wish that I was different than who I am right now.  I'm really just lucky to be young and have my whole life ahead of me. I am tired of not appreciating the little things like that. Sometimes other things get in the way and make it hard to seek pleasure in the simple things. But life is too short to dwell on nit-picky details that you don't like, whether it involves others or yourself.

The university is closed today. Pretty unusual. I've never had this happen since I've been a student there. At least I don't have to drive to downtown GR tonight. I didn't think I was gonna make it to Carly and Matt's last night, and that was some miracle that it even happened. This weather reminds me of those winters when I was a kid.

Anyway, for those who read this, that's all for now. Be careful driving.  

Last night I was thinking to myself, hmmm, "what if my first class is cancelled tomorrow morning?" I'm not sure why I thought this, because none of my professors EVER cancel class (well, it's a pretty rare thing, anyway).

This morning I was practically rushing to get to Grand Valley and once I got here I see no one sitting in the room. The class was definitely cancelled. Ugh. Now I have a 4 1/2 hour break. It would' ve been so nice to sleep in for a few more hours...if only I had checked my e-mail, which I never do in the mornings. Stupid me.  Ah well; at least I have a test to study for.

I just found it weird that I was thinking about that last night and it actually happened.

So, the coming of the new year has got me thinking about life and where I want to be at and I've realized that I'm not doing too bad for myself for being 22. In a way, I think everything has worked out fairly well, all things considered. This winter marks the last semester as an undergrad student. It feels like I'm finally accomplishing something significant, and that makes me feel good. 

It's sort of strange to me because it feels as though everyone around me is getting married, settling down, in a serious relationship, thinking about having kids, having kids, etc. Sometimes it's hard for me to imagine myself having those things, even though (someday, many years from now) I would want those things. Even though being single can be lonely at times, I think that it has been a good experience for me, especially since I'm still trying to figure out who I am.  The world is my oyster, so to speak. I guess overall I'm happy to be where I'm at with some minor but few regrets.

Christmas was excellent. New Years was nice. I finally broke down and bought guitar hero. I've been playing it just about everyday since. I'm definitely improving, but there is much work to be done. 

Well, that's about it for now. Hope everyone had a great holiday.

Three words:  Best. Party. Ever.

Thanks for the fun, guys! :)

Well, I'm afraid that the wisdom teeth are comin' in.

Such convenient timing. The week before finals. Fabulous.

Blahhhhh. This pain is ridiculous.
Excuse me while I go suck on a popsicle and load up on Motrin. Hmph :( 

I have a newfound addiction for sundried tomato & basil wheat thins. Yummmm. If you have not yet tried them, I suggest you do so...immediately.

I passed Jami & Brandon and Jessica while driving to campus today. In person would be so much better...

On another note, only 3 weeks left of the semester. W00t W00t

I think my cold is done (finally).

I am excited for Thanksgiving. I think it just may be my favorite holiday. 

As for everyone else, I hope you are well!!

Long time no update, huh? I blinked and suddenly it was November. Crazy. Winter break is a month away; that doesn't seem possible.

I hope everyone is well :)

I'm ready to be over this cold/sore throat anytime now.

 I definitely just spent over $100 on clothes at the new Target store. Oops! It seems a lot bigger than the other building. And very red. Alright, let me re-phrase. What I mean to say is that there's much more red in this store than in the other one. I'd like to go back there when I have more time to look around. I didn't even get to see half of the store, which is probably a good thing. Otherwise I probably would've spent more and been in there a whole lot longer. Target is one of those stores that I could spend hours in. I'm not sure why. It's just a store. A cool store, but a store.

Anyway, I don't feel so bad spending the money because a) I never ever spend that much on clothes all in one shot, and b) I really need warmer, non-summer clothing. Today I was freezing. I even wore my winter jacket on campus. I'm sure it'll warm up again, but, still. It's quite a change compared to the recent 80 degree weather we've had. You gotta love Michigan for that reason.

 

Tomorrow's the day...I can't wait. I <3 Radiohead. From the sounds of it, it seems that this is gonna be a good album. 

This past weekend was nice. I had Friday and Saturday nights off. And, I got to hang out with several good friends whom I hadn't seen in a while. Doesn't get much better than that.

I'll admit that despite how crazy things are and how busy I am, I'm really liking this semester. It's exciting. I'm studying the things that interest me most, things that I actually WANT to study, rather of taking a bunch of classes that I could care less about.

I love Michigan in October.  I wish that the weather would stay this way all year round. October is the best.

Tomorrow I start doing research for my prof, and I get to conduct my very first study EVER. It's going to be sweet. I'm pretty excited about it.

Other than that, life has been exceptionally busy. I feel like I have close to no life at all this semester. I don't so much like that, either. 

The highlight of my weekend is usually work (how said is that?) and during the weeknights, maybe being lucky enough to catch an episode of Real World. Speaking of which, it happens to be on tonight. I stopped watching it a few years back, but I've recently gotten hooked on this season. I guess I'm a bit of a reality-junkie myself.

Something I've been thinking about lately: there are a few people who sometimes inadvertently hurt my feelings with words and the way that they say things. It's hard because I know that it isn't intentional, so I end up feeling bad for being upset, if that makes any sense. I can't always help it. And anyway, I feel like I look out for certain people more than they do for me, and that's frustrating. It makes me feel under-appreciated as a person and I don't like feeling that way.

 

 I'm in disbelief that it's mid September already, and 9/11 no less. That would mean that six years ago I was a junior in high school? Wow.  It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago, really. I guess that's time's little way of saying "hey, you're getting old".  : p 

The last time I wrote in here I was pretty irritable. Things have started looking up. I've been sleeping better lately because I'm not loading up on caffeine right before I get ready to go to bed. Also... I think I'm going to drop a class and take it in the winter instead. This way I will have more time to get other relevant, important things done over the semester, not to mention I won't be as stressed. Problem solved.

I think fall is officially here, judging by today's weather. I'm so ready for it. But I could do without the excess wind and cold temps.
 

Lately my mood has been overall crappy. And it isn't like a temporary bad mood, but constant crankiness from the moment that the day begins. Part of it is that I'm not getting an adequate amount of sleep each night because I keep having these strange dreams and end up waking up three or four times throughout the night. The other thing; I like my new job, but for anyone who has worked in customer service, they know very well how annoying and rude people can be/are. I'm tired of people asking stupid questions and being obnoxious. I can't wait until I no longer have to work in underpaid, minimum wage  jobs. UGHHH. 

I'm nervous about this semester. I really, really, really want to get accepted into an applied social psych graduate program in the fall of '08, but that will depend on several different factors...like whether or not I do well on the GRE, or whether or not I meet all of the requirements the schools are looking for. I've talked to a few psych professors, and most of them seem to think that getting into certain programs is "all about who you know".  It's pretty competitive, and schools only accept so many students per year into a grad program. I've thought taking a year off in between, however I would rather keep moving forward than take a break. I don't want to start paying my student loans back next year either.

Last week, I found out that my aunt (the one who lives in Arizona) recently had a stroke. She's doing okay, but the doctors are putting her on meds. Hopefully this won't happen again. It worries me a little because my Dad's side of the family has a history of heart problems. That's actually how his mom died, and she was really young when it happened...I believe in her late forties, early fifties. I  read about this, and did you know that there are actually areas in the country where people are prone to having strokes? The southeastern part of the US is supposedly one of the areas where strokes are most common; they call them stroke belt states. I actually did not know that. 

Today I found out the presentation schedules for my capstone class. Basically, each person has to research a topic and present on it for 20-30 mins by themselves. And guess who gets to go first? 

YIKES! All I can say is that this WILL be interesting. I hate being first. The only plus is that I'll get it over with. It just means I have to get started really soon since we begin doing them Oct. 19th, and that's not all that far off from now.

I started my internship last week. So far it seems like it'll be alright. It's work... but alright.

I think that's enough for tonight. I hope everyone else is well, or as well as they can be.

Tonight was my first night on the job. I really liked it, and for the most part think it is going to be a pretty easy job (YES!), and the people were all pretty warm and welcoming, which is good. 

Employees get a discount, so I only have to pay half of what I would normally pay for a rental. Plus, for all of the new release movies, employees can also rent them before they are even released to the general public. This way, when a customer asks about whether a specific movie is good or bad, you can offer them some kind of feedback. I thought that was a cool perk. Sorta equivalent to the employee sneaks @ the Cinema; that's about the best way to put it I guess.

During the shift I learned how to open up new accounts, put movies away (so difficult), and I even had my first case of renting an adult film to somebody. I chuckled a little to myself, but it was fine. Won't be the last time, so I better get used to it.

Next week classes start back up. Before I dreaded it, now I'm just ready to get it over with. And seeing as though I'll have little to no social life at all for the next three months doesn't particularly excite me. 

Summer went by wayyy too fast. But overall, it was enjoyable. Ryan went back to school this week and I miss him.  Muskegon is not the same without him around...it just isn't. BTW, Happy Birthday!!

I think this year's presidential election will be interesting. It makes me feel very happy and relieved to know that Bush will soon be on his way out of office. I'm a tad bit annoyed by some of these speculations that the Republican party will have another cake walk victory in '08 simply because of who is running on the Dem side. It seems like everyone assumes Hillary's only shot at winning is if certain groups (i.e., college students, women) end up voting. That, and everyone keeps bringing Bill's past into her campaign, which isn't fair but probably somewhat inevitable I suppose.  I'm no authority in the field of politics but I don't think that you have to be in order to see that this country needs a new vision and a new leader. 

I guess it's been awhile since I written in here. Here's a quick update on what's going on in my life at the moment:

-As most of you probably know already, I put my two week notice in at the bank. My last day there is this upcoming Saturday, and I couldn't be happier about this. Banking just wasn't my thing.

-I managed to get a part-time job working at a Family Video. I'll be working at the Henry St. store, which is great because it happens to be just a few short minutes my house. It will be nice not having to drive so far to work since I'll already be doing enough of that by commuting back and forth to GVSU.

-Last weekend Brandon and I went to Lollapalooza in Chicago. It came and it went way too fast. We spent the whole weekend in the city. Most of the day time was devoted to seeing various bands (and good bands at that); we did go out to eat with Matt a couple of times during the evenings. I got see where he lives. He has a nice little place not too far from the downtown area. It still hasn't really hit me that he doesn't live here anymore. I can't remember walking and standing that much since I was in marching band. My legs, heels, and back ached by the end of Friday evening if that says anything. Still, it was completely worth every penny I spent on the ticket and I wouldn't trade the experience for the world. It was fantastic. And Brandon is a good travel companion. It wouldn've been great if Jami, or even some others, could have made it there. Still, we had a good time.
I'm still unsure of which band was my favorite. It's almost impossible to choose just one out of the twenty plus that we watched; I was impressed with so many of them.

-I recently finished up my summer classes. I'll honestly say that I'm very happy with my grades, and even happy to be done as I am about to embrace the busiest semester of my college career in the next few weeks. It's a small price to pay for having two more semesters left until I'll have a B.S. in psychology.

-I signed up for the GRE general test. I'll be taking it around the of beginning October. For those of you who don't know what the GRE is, it is the exam that I need to pass in order to get accepted to a graduate program and school. I'm getting nervous about it mostly because I've never been a great standardized test-taker. Lately I've been trying to devote at least a couple of hours to studying, but I haven't been very successful. There's been a lot going on. I have a few weeks until I start the new job, so I plan to get a lot of prepping done for it during that time.

It's been a pretty busy summer. Now I just want to relax and enjoy the rest of it. I hope everyone else is doing the same...

Just wanted to let you guys know that some of us are going to be celebrating my birthday on Saturday, the 5th of May.

Since we live in Muskegon, it will most likely involve getting dinner somewhere and hopping around to a couple of bars and having some drinks. It won't be anything too extravagant but it should be a good time.

If you're interested in going, just let me know. Details to come later. Hope you can make it :)))

Life is good lately. It almost feels as though I'm over-dosing on happiness. Maybe I'm in the twilight zone, or something.

No complaints here.